Sitting here in my office, I can't help feeling claustrophobic. I can hear the honks of cars, the screech of the bus as the driver brakes to a halt, the splutter of the auto as the autodriver manoeuvres his vehicle through the maze of traffic. I type away on my machine wasting precious moments of my life. Do I want to be out there smelling the fumes, deafened by the explosion of noises or here sitting uncomfortably in a chair poring over boring documents. Making a living yet not exactly living it.
I want to be home reading a book, curled up on my bed. Without a care, waiting for my kids to return with their innumerable stories. Watch their bright faces as they narrate the days happenings. Clucking and nodding, looking interested...as if my life was meant only for listening to them. Feeding my little one as she watches T.V. I want to go home. Be the one thing I love to be - a mom.
But it isn't sufficient they say. You need to be financially independent, make use of your brains, your talent. Does that mean being a good mom is not a talent, an ability?
I learnt from my mom that being a mom is a full time job in itself and there are no retirement facilities. Till the day you are no more you are a mom! Your micro-role may keep changing. At first you are a provider, then as kids grow you need to be there advisor and counsellor and finally as they mature into adults you need to be the observer and consultant.
If you do you are damned..if you do not..damned too!
I want to be home reading a book, curled up on my bed. Without a care, waiting for my kids to return with their innumerable stories. Watch their bright faces as they narrate the days happenings. Clucking and nodding, looking interested...as if my life was meant only for listening to them. Feeding my little one as she watches T.V. I want to go home. Be the one thing I love to be - a mom.
But it isn't sufficient they say. You need to be financially independent, make use of your brains, your talent. Does that mean being a good mom is not a talent, an ability?
I learnt from my mom that being a mom is a full time job in itself and there are no retirement facilities. Till the day you are no more you are a mom! Your micro-role may keep changing. At first you are a provider, then as kids grow you need to be there advisor and counsellor and finally as they mature into adults you need to be the observer and consultant.
If you do you are damned..if you do not..damned too!
No comments:
Post a Comment